Hello,
I am writing again! This is amazing for me considering I just wrote something yesterday.
So today I saw “Isn’t it Romantic” starring Rebel Wilson. First of all, SPOILERS ahead.
It was an amazing movie, and I loved that Rebel, a larger woman, was the star of a Rom-com. I hate to be that way but honestly, does it ever really happen that way? No, it doesn’t. Hollywood kinda sucks with diversity. So here we are, a rom-com with a plus sized woman, which was already giving me some hopefulness. (Let me clarify, not hopeful that I will star in a rom-com, but that I can also be loved at my size. I’m not the biggest person, but I am obese according to my doctors) So I loved this movie for that aspect.
It’s a pretty great movie and not what I expected. The whole time I’m like, oh yeah, she’s going to realize she should be with her best friend, not the handsome rich guy, blah blah typical movie. But no!! In the end, she starts to crash her best friends wedding, but realizes while she is that she is not just in love with her friend (finally amiright) but that she loves HERSELF. let me reiterate. One more time for you: SHE FINALLY LOVED HERSELF!!!!
Now why is this so amazing to be in a movie about love? BECAUSE FOR ONCE WE ARE REALIZING HOW IMPORTANT SELF LOVE IS. And you know why else???? CUZ THIS IS SOMETHING I SPECIFICALLY HAVE STRUGGLED WITH FOR A GOOD PORTION OF MY LIFE.
So of course, she does end up with her best friend but she also states at the end that SHE fulfills her life, not him. NOT HIM!!! Do you know how dependent I am on other people and how much that struck me??? I wanted so bad to feel the same way as her. I don’t want to rely on my boyfriend to make me happy the rest of myself. I want to make ME happy the rest of my life. Okay me and Jesus, cuz he’s the only one that can truly fill me up. BUT SERIOUSLY SELF LOVE YOU GUYS I WANT THAT.
So now I have a new therapy goal. Not only do I want to feel less suicidal, happier in general, and less anxious overall, but I want to finally learn how to TRULY LOVE MYSELF. Because that is so important. Yes I give my love away to others like crazy right now, but I want to turn some of that love over to myself. Because THAT is how I will truly be happier. Thanks guys for reading! More blogs to come my friends!!!!!
With Drops of Jupiter in her hair...<3 