I know I’ve already written about this once before, but I can’t say this enough. I want to be single and satisfied. No. Not even just that. I want to be happy. I’m tired of the single and ready to mingle phase. I’m tired of seeking out love when I may not even be emotionally ready for it. I just want to be single, and rest. Rest knowing that I am loved UNCONDITIONALLY by the God who created me. I want to see that I can be happy in Him and Him alone. No distractions. No boyfriends getting in my way. I just want to be one with myself and God and thats it.
I’ve lived 21 years now. And of those 21 years, most of them I have not understood what it means to love myself. I have no idea what its like to love myself. I have no idea what it means to just be happy alone with myself. Okay maybe that part I do know somewhere inside of me. After all I was single before high school. But most of my growing up, I always had someone by my side, supporting me, and loving me. Now that I don’t, I find myself wanting to seek that out again. To desperately beg someone to love me the way I’ve been loved before.
But why am I doing that? Why should I seek something I already have? God loves me. My family loves me. My friends love me. I am surrounded by love, and real love that lasts forever, not just the dating love that comes and goes. I’m trying to remind myself of these facts and to just accept that being single is okay.
I haven’t been single for a very long time. At least not for very long. I always had short distances between one relationship and the next. I was always ready to try again. This time I’m not. I’m not ready to go out and mingle. I’m done seeking love that I already have enough of. I’m done searching for my soul mate using online dating apps (yes I have tried those sadly).
Some people say that the right person will come along when you least expect it. I hope that they are right about that. I hope that someday, a man will come along that will be right for me, and will sweep me off my feet. I want to be someone’s special person, I really do. But for now I want to stop and wait. I want to be single, and rest. Someday my prince Will come. Someday. It may not be soon, but that’s okay. I’m just going to slowly learn to love myself and surround myself with the love I already have in my life. Thanks for reading this random little blurb of thoughts. If you would like to support me on this, let me know. Contact me, and we can see how we can help each other. I would encourage other young women to consider waiting too. Waiting for the right guy. Not searching for him, but just trusting that God will put Him in your life. I hope you all are having a wonderful summer.