So apparently this month is suicide prevention month. In light of that I figured I should share my personal journey of suicide prevention and tendencies.
I have been battling depression for a very long time. Since I was a young girl, I’ve had extreme self esteem issues. I never think I’m good enough. I strive for perfection. In some of my recent struggles, coupled with my extreme anxiety, I’ve had some suicidal thoughts. Less than a year ago I had plans to take my life on the busy campus I live on during the school year. I’m not ashamed to share that. I may have some troubles but it doesn’t make me less of a person. At least I’ve finally realized that fact. I was lucky enough to be seeking help during my dark times. I saw a therapist and she advised me to go into the hospital. I did, after talking through my worries about it. I was safe there, and doctors adjusted my treatment to help get rid of those tendencies.
I may have overcome those thoughts then, but they are still prevalent in my life. They still haunt me in the back of my mind on my bad days. I still have them and every once in awhile the devil tempts me to make a plan again. But I haven’t, and luckily I have a large and wonderful support system.
If you know someone struggling with suicidal thoughts or tendencies, please encourage them to seek professional help. They might try to refuse at first, say they can handle it, but they’re lying to themselves. No one can take that on alone, and even as a close friend it can’t be your responsibility to help them. Send them to a doctor or therapist. Give them the hotline for suicide. They even have a texting service now. Please don’t ignore it. They may not be thankful at first or maybe for a long time, but you could save their life, and isn’t that worth it? If I didn’t have my faith as well as my doctors and therapists, I might not be here today. Suicide prevention is so important. Please be aware of the resources for people struggling. Thanks for listening to my story.
National suicide hotline (U.S.)
1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish